WHO WE ARE

Two hot chicks.
One very specific talent.

We paint dicks. We laugh a lot. And somehow this became our full-time job.

This whole thing actually started at the Valley Ho pool parties.

Brianna would show up with her dick coloring books and she and Lauren would spend the afternoon coloring dicks for all the degens hanging out by the pool. It was chaotic, it was funny, and somehow it felt right.

That energy eventually became the song "Valley Ho" by furrykittenslit — and it also became the spark for what we do now.

Fast forward and here we are: two hot chicks turning dicks into actual art, live, and making people lose their minds in the best way possible.

THE ARTISTS

Brianna & Lauren

Brianna
Brianna
THE BOLD ONE • 26

"Guys lose their shit when they see their dick as a masterpiece. The jaw drop, the ‘wait… that’s actually me?!’ energy is unmatched. Yeah it is. And I made it look way better. You’re welcome."

Favorite color: Hot pink (obviously).
Favorite reaction: When they ask if they can get it framed for their mom.
Lauren
THE TEASE • 27

"The best part is when the paint starts dripping and they get all flustered. ‘Wait… is it moving?!’ It always moves when two hot girls are giggling and painting you. Don’t stop on my account."

Favorite part of the job: The drip phase.
Least favorite: Explaining to Uber drivers why there’s paint on our legs.

Our philosophy is simple:

🎨
Art first, always.

We’re not just painting dicks. We’re making something people want to own and look at for years.

😂
Humor is foreplay.

If you can’t laugh while getting your dick painted, you’re taking life (and your cock) way too seriously.

💦
Consent & comfort.

Everyone involved is having fun. No pressure, no weird vibes, just good art and good times.